Interview with Mark Porter from All The Pretty Bones

Note: This is a fictional interview between fictional characters. 

By Mary Atalia of The Seattle Globe

I knew this would be an interview that would be difficult to pull off. Mark Porter is a private individual, but with all of the accusations swirling around lately, he felt obligated to come forward and clear his name. He was hesitant to meet at all, so I agreed to his location. We met at a bar in the Central District.

Mary Atalia: Thank you for meeting with me. I realize you don’t typically talk to reporters.

Mark Porter: There have been so many rumors running rampant that I felt I owed it to myself to clear the air.

MA: Which rumors are you referring to?

MP: That I’m stalking Olivia, of course.

MA: Are you?

MP: Of course not. We’ve been in a relationship for ten years.

MA: Then why did she file a restraining order?

MP: Someone put her up to that. And it’s no longer valid. She didn’t renew it.

MA: But it’s not like someone can file on her behalf. She entered the paperwork.

Interviewer’s Note: At this point in the interview, Mark dug through one of his pockets, making the gentlemen at the table next to us a little nervous. They only relaxed when they saw him push a rumpled piece of paper across the table.

MA: What’s this?

MP: It’s one of her love notes.

MA: This looks a lot like a grocery list.

MP: Over half of those ingredients are my favorite foods. And do you see how she crosses the t’s?

Interviewer’s Note: Let the record show that the handwriting is pretty standard.

MA: Were you recently in prison?

MP: Not exactly.

MA: How is that possible?

MP: I don’t like your attitude.

MA: I apologize. Let me rephrase the question. Did you serve time for committing a crime?

MP: Yes.

MA: Would you like to expand on that at all?

MP: Not really.

MA: Could you expand on it?

MP: I did what I had to do.

MA: Did the man you beat attack you?

MP: No.

MA: How did he provoke you?

MP: He didn’t. I was considering my options when it occurred to me that I could get out of the army by getting into a physical altercation serious enough to warrant a discharge.

MA: His injuries were so extensive he has had to relearn how to walk and perform simple motor functions.

MP: And that is regrettable. But the army is no longer transferring me to Georgia.

MA: Was it worth it?

MP: Certainly. My Olivia - I see her all the time. That’s priceless.

MA: So you don’t dispute that you committed the crime.

MP: I already served time for it, so I don’t see the point.

MA: You said that you and Olivia have been together for 10 years. Have you ever been on a date?

MP: Of course!

MA: Where did you go?

MP: Just last weekend we went to the gym and the book store.

MA: Did you get coffee or a meal?

MP: She got a juice at the gym.

MA: Did you get a juice with her?

MP: I was busy.

MA: Were you in the gym?

MP: No, at the time I was in the car.

MA: Did you ever go in the gym?

MP: Of course.

MA: When?

MP: I don’t like your tone. What would your husband say about your questions?

MA: He would probably say that I’m doing my job.

MP: He must not provide very well.

MA: I want to work.

MP: I doubt that.

MA: Olivia is very good at her job. She works.

MP: That’s different. We aren’t married yet. Once we’re married, she’ll give up her job.

MA: Gee, look at the time. Didn’t you say you had somewhere to be?

MP: Yes, I’m meeting Olivia in five minutes. She’s cooking dinner.

Interviewer’s Note: I love my job, but I’m not paid enough for this.

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