by Camela Thompson This week I'm in chilly (but sunny) Colorado visiting the nieces for the US holiday. They are neat little ladies and the eldest went on quite a tirade about the lack of super hero options for women. She also expressed that Super Girl's moxie impressed her on multiple occasions. (Did I mention she's seven?) In my nieces' make believe world, they are ninja-princess-super-hero-scientists because girls should be able to be all the things. At once. And when they have time, they rescue the boys. My nieces are awesome. The girls enjoy Super Girl and Wonder Woman, but my eloquent niece was correct about the deficit of options. Comics have a history of providing gorgeous and dispensable female supporting cast members with very few exceptions. And those are the super charged crew. The rest are wives or girlfriends who are killed in a gruesome manner to fuel the hero's need for vengeance. It's a thing called fridging and we've even done a podcast episode on the phenomenon. The ploy is used over and over because it's effective, but it's time to grow up and move on.
My favorite heroines don't exist in comics. I think of Furiosa from Mad Max: Fury Road, Ripley from Alien, and Sarah Connor of Terminator 2: Judgment Day. The key to their power wasn't necessarily strength (although they all had it). It was the determination that allowed them to pick up the pieces when everything seemed utterly impossible and continue the journey. They had pain and growth. I've been rereading my work and realized I also crave more superheroes who are women. Physical power is a plus, but intelligence and resilience are key. In fact, the superpower I favor is resilience. For those of you who are sticklers for the traditional definition of superpower, I choose regeneration/health like Wolverine. Which is really just another form of resilience. So there. If you were to construct your ideal super heroine, what are must have attributes? Do you favor any online comics that feature a female lead? If so, what makes her awesome?
4 Comments
by Camela Thompson If you haven't seen Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, run to your television, laptop, or tablet and open Netflix. As someone who grew up watching Murder She Wrote and is a bit of a (raging) feminist, this show is close to perfection (minus Episode 9 in Season 2). A woman driven to solve murders simultaneously makes a stand against the conventional expectations women are held to in the '20s by living her own life to the fullest. I sprinted through the series, which makes me a little sad now that I know there has not been a commitment for another season (but there has been chatter around a potential movie, so I have hope!!). The only solution to deal with the withdrawal was to start the series over again.
When I watch a movie or television, I can't help but notice what works for me and what doesn't. Maybe a small part of this behavior is my need to feel like I'm accomplishing something, even when I'm supposed to be relaxing. Which is counterproductive to the implied purpose, which would be: RELAX. I also realize that we can always learn things that apply to writing. What makes a character resonate with us on screen isn't all that different than what we relate to in a book. With that in mind, here are some things I've learned from Miss Fisher. A Strong Woman Can Be Interested in Men In Miss Fisher's case, the more men the better. The character challenged the double standard: A sexually liberated woman is considered a slut where a man is considered accomplished. She loved freely and she did it without giving up her freedom. A Little Romance is a Good Thing The sexual tension between Jack and Phryne was wonderful. I'm not a romantic, but I loved how the two played to one another. Even more so because they were opposites. The straight edge, traditional man challenged by a stubborn, intelligent woman who showed no interest in settling down. The two worked well together, but Phryne's untraditional approach to life created realistic issues. Jack had to decide whether his love for her was strong enough for him to reconsider his position on a lot of topics. The two extremes pulled one another closer to moderation. Character Development is Key A strong main character is a must. Developing peripheral characters that the audience grows to love makes the show even better. Initially, Aunt Prudence seemed like a little much, but as the seasons went on, I grew to love her good intentions and big heart. Variation and contrast force the character to grow, and people are a great way to push the issue in a manner that feels organic. This requires a peripheral character to have a back story and grow as well. Many Mistakes are Forgivable Pushing people away, acting out, and making critical judgment errors aren't necessarily the end of a character in the viewer's eyes. If the person means well or earnestly attempts to make amends, it can go a long way. The key is to give the character redeeming qualities. Perhaps the woman who lied to the police and had an affair only did those things to protect the person she loved fiercely from blackmail exposure. Some Mistakes Cannot Be Forgiven A misstep in an episode can be overlooked, but it's important to correct quickly. If the audience begins to despise a character, especially the main character, your series may never recover. Major missteps around social issues or other problems may be avoided with feedback. These lessons can be applied in writing, especially applied to a series. Now I need to get back to petitioning Netflix to pick up the series and retain the original writers. Random question: Can you believe Essie Davis (Phryne Fisher) was also the mother in the The Babadook?? by Camela Thompson Early in October I had the pleasure of participating on a panel on Women's Issues in Publishing. As we got ready for the presentation and looked at Patricia's deck (which can be downloaded here and has some excellent resources), we were both excited and depressed. The numbers are clear. There is still a disparity in publishing between men and women whether you're looking at who gets published, who gets reviewed, or who gets better pay (and a management position) in a publishing house. We've found stories posted by women who've spoken out about how their books are labeled (titles and covers) and the greater success they've experienced querying under a gender neutral name. Even after all of these statistics, we still have articles like this where people express their worry over an emerging publishing workforce dominated by women. It's daunting. And spouting those statistics and first hand stories to women writers in the audience had the potential to be discouraging. It isn't too surprising we were asked the question: "What can we do to encourage women writers?" There are many things that have helped me as an author, and I'm sure many of these points apply to any writer.
Don't Shove Someone into a Genre My husband and I were watching Crimson Peak, and we burst into laughter when the protagonist was told that she needed to focus more on romance. We laughed even harder when she decided to type her manuscript to hide her feminine handwriting. Lance turned to me and said, "Some things never change." There is absolutely nothing wrong with romance. Just don't assume a woman writes romance. If she does write romance, don't assume the writing isn't amazing. I still run into the Genre Gender Bias. Resist Bad Mouthing Constructive criticism is a good thing. What I have a problem with is talking behind another writer's back or blasting someone all over the interwebs. I prefer to leave critique to the reviewers. I know this won't be my most popular point, but I think there is enough negativity for an author without me adding to it. I have opinions like anyone else, but it's something I continue to try to live up to. Mentor You'd think writing a story from beginning to end would be simple enough, but there are so many ways to get lost. I've experienced most of them. Navigating technology, marketing, and all of the other steps during and after publishing is also overwhelming. Having someone to call who has already been there can make the difference between a former writer and a published author. Beta Read No one should write in a vacuum. After months on a project, even the most glaring mistakes become sneaky ninjas. A fresh set of eyes is a great thing if those eyes come with constructive criticism. Consider the differences in the following examples and decide what you would rather receive as a writer: "I don't like the scene." "I don't think Jack's reaction is believable. If he reacts this way, there needs to be a reason portrayed to the reader. Otherwise, I would emphasize the shock someone would normally experience in this situation rather than amusement." Another important quality in a beta reader is the ability to point out what the writer does well. A long list of problems without any positive points would discourage anyone. Collaborate It's awesome to see someone I've helped in some way succeed whether it be a pitch workshop, a beta read, or help on a marketing campaign. You don't need to donate the time it would take to mentor or beta read to have an impact. Kind words at the right time can make all the difference. There have been a lot of achievements women can be proud of. The all time Best Seller list on Amazon is dominated by women, and the New York Times Best Seller list from a few weeks ago held a healthy share. Women have blazed some very impressive trails, and it's up to us to keep raising the bar. Collaboration may be the key. How do you prefer to be encouraged as an author? Is there something you would add to the list? by Camela Thompson "I have a character who is a young girl and I want to write from her perspective. How do I do that?" The question was asked in class, and people volunteered suggestions to enable the gentleman to observe and interact with the demographic. The advice missed two ingredients: empathy and fearlessness. The answer came to me while I was reviewing a recent podcast covering Evil A.I. It was our observation that the major perceived flaw (from a human perspective) in a physical manifestation of artificial intelligence is lack of empathy. A walking robot makes people uncomfortable unless it is somehow capable of imparting the illusion of emotions. This was the theme of Ex Machina and empathy is why we love Wall-E. The trick to understanding and emulating a character's actions is empathy: The ability to step into the character's shoes and imagine what they are experiencing on an emotional level. This means we have to understand what motivates them, likes and dislikes, how likely they are to express an opinion... These things require understanding emotional undercurrents Expressing a perspective that is different than our own is frightening. What if we do it wrong? What if we say something ignorant? In addition to fear of missteps, stepping into someone else's shoes requires digging into your own pain and applying it to a different scenario. It could hurt. We could be criticized. We could be mocked.
From where I stand, it's worse not to try. If I don't try to say something meaningful, I never will. Is staying safe really worth missing out on expressing something amazing? I have no problem writing from the male perspective. I don't have a problem imagining what my characters are motivated by and what they want to accomplish. But I've been sticking primarily to white, middle-class characters. Now I can see I've done a poor job with the diversity that I have introduced. And I want to do better. It's time to dig into my own pain and take some risks. I'd rather look like a jerk to the people I know than the world at large. Don't think for one minute I won't be asking for help. I worry about portraying a character respectfully and accurately. I will be willing to ask if I'm doing a decent job. Have you written outside of your comfort zone? What helped you? by Camela Thompson The previews for Crimson Peak more than intrigued me, but I didn't allow myself to get excited. After reading the first two books in The Strain series and a few online transcripts from interviews, del Toro struck me as a misogynist. Sure, you could point at Pan's Labyrinth and Hellboy II, but it wasn't enough to make up for the flimsy female characters in The Strain. The television show was trending better, something I attributed to a more diverse team of writers, but they stepped way over the line when Dutch was captured and tortured in "Dead End." Without revealing spoilers, it was a gratuitous maneuver that had no point other than shock value. My friends assured me that del Toro had a solid history of strong female characters. I could match them point for point. But that trailer spoke to me. The gothic flare, the creepy vibe, and the actors. If nothing else would get me in that theater, Charlie Hunnam (aka Jax Teller), Tom Hiddleston (aka Loki), Mia Wasikowska (aka Alice), and Jim Beaver (aka Bobby Singer) were enough incentive. And just look at the set: I loved it. So much I watched it twice. In a single weekend.
Spoilers ahead! What I loved. The casting was tremendous. Every actor carried their part with an effortless air. Tom Hiddleston has a naturally sinister look to him, which was perfect to cast suspicion in the (slightly) wrong direction. He's also capable of expressions of innocence sufficient to cast doubt. Enough that I didn't despise his character, which would have been so easy given the twisted upbringing and subsequent complacency in his sister's reign. The tension between Hiddleston and Jessica Chastain was delicious. From their first interaction, I seized on the House of Usher vibe. I wasn't at all surprised by the torrid relationship between the siblings, but I was thrilled by Chastain's ability to move from cold void to explosive fury. It's no secret I have a thing for Charlie Hunnam. Not only is he solidly attractive, but the man can act. His ability to tap into some well of emotion both concerns and awes me. The best aspect of his part in this movie? He doesn't save the girl. Edith is allowed to persevere and pull from a place of mental and physical strength to face her tormentor. Even better? He values and respects her. That's what I call the total package. Not only did we have a strong female protagonist who was **gasp** valued for her stubborn streak and intellect by the men who loved her. We also see a female antagonist. Which was awesome!! Lucille Sharpe was both physically strong and mentally cunning. It's frequent that women get cast into the role of passive poisoner. Lucille's physical violence rivaled any man. In fact, she held her own against them more than once. The sets were gorgeous. The physics involved in Allerdale Hall are impossible, but the building is as gorgeous as it is ghastly. The red seeping through the floor and running down the walls was too appropriate to fault. Even the bedroom for ten-year-old Edith impresses. The wallpaper bleeds into the shadowed lines of her mother. The shadows. The cinematography was jaw-dropping. My very favorite part of the movie involved Edith's writing. She was encouraged to focus more on romance, which was in line with her feminine mind. My husband turned to me and said, "Some things never change." She even considered typing her story to hide her handwriting. That reminds me of considering a pen name.... del Toro. You won me over. This was one kickass movie that celebrated each character as a person. What didn't work so well. How did Dr. McMichael get to England so quickly? The dog was a nice nod to a prior "wife" and the cruelty displayed to it does establish character, but I'm so tired of the dog getting killed off. I could devote an entire post to my rage around this topic. How exactly did Edith run around on a broken leg? Unless Dr McMichael embellished her injury or it was knocked out of joint (even then, I'm not sure the adrenalin would push her past the pain), this was very odd. Edith was agonizingly dense about Crimson Peak. Sir Thomas was mining red clay for pigeon's sake. (Note from Camela's husband: "I didn't have an issue with her not recognizing she was already at Crimson Peak since there was not a peak, mountain top, hill, or any elevation gain to speak of at all. It did start off slow, though.") There were some other minor issues, but I even thought the gore was well executed and appropriate. Overall I would give this movie a solid A. Have you seen it? What did you think? by Camela Thompson Any writer will tell you how hard it is to be published traditionally. In fact, other writers relish telling the horrors of their literary adventures. Go to any crowded writer's conference and make an off-handed comment about pitching, querying, or general discouragement in the vein of getting published and several people will be more than happy to commiserate with you. Publishing becomes this mystical thing that may only be obtained under the most superstitious and rare of circumstances. Because it's so difficult, once the goal is achieved there's a belief that every subsequent action will seem easy by comparison. If it's so hard to get there, the rest will be a breeze. Right? RIGHT? Not so much. Getting over the hurdle of being published is an accomplishment that should be celebrated. It's a rush I will never forget. But as I look back, I realize I had unrealistic expectations of what it meant. I'd quit the day job, crank out three wonderful books a year, and tolerate speaking engagements with Ellen. She'd laugh at my wit. We'd become best friends and bond over our love of animals and quirky humor. Then Tina Fey and Amy Pohler would join the party and we'd create the most gut busting tribute to feminism ever. While I still think we'd all get along famously, it looks like a pipe dream at this stage in the game. Plus, typing it out made it sound really creepy. For the benefit of others dreaming of their fast track to the best seller list and all that comes with it, here are some of my own myths that have been busted after publishing. I Can Quit the Day Job False. My best advice to anyone who wants to be a professional novelist: Find a day job you love. The median income for a traditionally published author is around $4,000. It takes a while to gain that much traction. After the costs of ordering my boxes of books, paying for online advertising, taking classes, and other writerly activities, I haven't seen a royalty check in my first year. Most of my sales are online, and while the volume isn't bad, the royalties are small. I've considered trying to ghost write or query articles, but it isn't for me. I make more money as an analyst and can afford to hire people to help me with things like marketing and cleaning, giving me more time to write. It's beyond rare to hit the jackpot with the first published book. It happens, but most of us begin our publishing journey with a book that goes largely unnoticed. Then we spend the next several years promoting the crap out of it while trying to write new masterpieces. These things are even harder to do when you have a job you hate. You'll need to work. Either find something that will give you flexibility to work on your writing, edits, and marketing, or find something you love. It doesn't matter if you love the product, enjoy the people, or like working for a cause - what matters is that you go home with energy instead of feeling drained. Writing Becomes Easier False. Writing is an artistic action that requires the participant to be willing to make mistakes. If you spend your time typing and deleting because the words aren't good enough, you'll never finish a book. I've found this to be especially true with a series. Not only do I worry about creating a story that is good enough, I worry about spending enough time on characters that my readers enjoy. I worry about making readers hate a character I love. I worry about my excessive usage of the words his, her, it, and was. All of these things crank through my head as I stare at the page, and it slows the words down. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, and I think it will get better. Eventually. Sometimes I manage to shut off the critic and the words fly. Too often, I spend an hour moving around sentences that could be spent getting the rough motions of a scene on the page. I know my writing quirks. It slows me down. But I'm becoming a better writer. Subsequent drafts are better. I Can Lock Myself Away to Write False. Writing in a vacuum is a bad thing. It's so crucial to get feedback on a story to see if it works for other people. Beyond that, having a system of support is critical. Whether it's celebrating over beer and bacon or strategizing over Google Hangouts or an impromptu pitch workshop in my living room, interacting with other writers keeps me going. The Marketing is Done for Me False. (This made me laugh hard enough to worry the dog.) Marketing should begin before you ever get a book out the door. Want to be published? Make a website and start learning about social media now. Start with one platform at a time, but start early. By the time your book is out the door, you should know which social media platforms your demographic uses the most and be able to use them. I should be posting to Facebook and Instagram a couple times per day. Twitter is more frequent. I blog once a week and post a podcast weekly. All of those things take a lot of time (about an hour and a half per day). Those are just online interactions. The in person stuff involves approaching bookstores to carry books and inquiring at venues for readings. Then there's mobilizing readers to review my books, request them in bookstores and libraries, and help expand my reader base organically. How to Get Ahead Listen to podcasts like The Self Publishing Podcast, Nerdist Writer's Panel, Writer 2.0, and Helping Writers Become Authors. Check out Nick Stevenson and his books on promotion. Follow your favorite authors on social media and take notes on what you do and don't like. Whether you're traditionally published, hybrid published, or self-published, we can all learn a lot from other authors who are successful. Even the famous authors have to put in their time interacting with the public. Just because getting published is hard doesn't mean it's not worth it. The best things in life are worth fighting for, and following your passion is no exception. Are there things you wish you knew before publishing? Are there things you're glad you didn't know? Are there things you need help with as a writer or published author?
by Camela Thompson If I could only use one word to describe my life right now, it would be: Inconsistent. I'm still learning to juggle this new job, social media, and writing. And maybe a social life. But there are things that remain consistent. I am still a major geek. As things grow hectic, I throw myself into my favorite movies, television, and books. Even my jokes get geekier. Star Wars, Firefly, and anything vampire or zombie have a way of sneaking into conversations. If only there were some kind of outlet for such concentrated geekiness... Doesn't everyone wear equestrian themed headgear while playing Skyrim? Oh wait. There is!
This coming weekend (October 10 and 11) is Geek Girl Con. Last year I attended as a spectator and was impressed by the amount of networking opportunities in technology (specifically the video game industry). I almost transformed into a puddle of joy when I found Supernatural themed jewelry. When I saw all of the posters, artwork, t-shirts, and books, I cackled and sent my husband a text message to warn him about our next credit card bill. This year I get to attend as a panelist. I'll be joined by Stacy Thompson Schuck, Patricia D. Eddy, and Janine A. Southard to discuss Women's Issues in Publishing. If you're fortunate enough to look at the title of our panel with confusion, I envy you. This is clearly a sign of not experiencing these issues first hand. Unfortunately, we found a wealth of statistics, first hand accounts, and studies that support the fact that women do face different issues in publishing than their male counterparts. It should be a good session, and I'm interested to see what kind of feedback and questions we get. I'm also looking forward to the book signing. You don't need to be a woman to enjoy Geek Girl Con. There are plenty of broad topic panels, a lot of cosplay, and a vast area for tabletop game play. They even have an introvert room. When I hit max human interaction capacity, that's where you'll find me (it was my favorite room last year). If you're in the Seattle area the weekend of the 10th and enjoy life as a geek, join us! Note: I will be joined by Patricia D. Eddy, Janine Southard, and Stacy Thompson Schuck to discuss Women's Issues in Publishing at Geek Girl Con in Seattle on October 10, 2015. We hope to see you there! Nothing says "Thrills and Suspense" like pink, a fresh manicure, and a lap dog by Camela Thompson "What do you write?" This is a common question at a writer conference, and this time it was asked by a man pushing sixty in a crisp shirt and a vest. He leaned in and squinted at the lanyard around my neck and rolled his eyes. "Paranormal Thriller." Too bad those typed out words can't convey the tone that came along with them. Contempt. I'm used to the reaction. Authors ask what the other person is writing for a chance to describe their own book. He didn't care what I wrote. He wanted to tell me about his story--get another chance to practice his lines before the stressful pitch sessions. I kept my chin up. "It's about a woman who finds out she's terminally ill and decides to kill her stalker." His considerable eyebrows raised. "That actually sounds interesting. Are you pitching?" Another eye roll. "I bet you'll get a book deal. People eat that vampire romance stuff up." "Actually, this time I'm lucky enough to not have to pitch. My book will be out in a few months." He laughed. "Of course it will." I bit my tongue so hard I tasted copper. Instead of pointing out that my own book had more in common with the thrillers and spy novels he liked than Twilight, I asked him what his book was about. He gave me a long winded explanation of his true crime novel with a list of names that could rival the roster of a football team. I explained that the names were distracting, but his concept was extremely interesting and coached him on tweaking his pitch. We sat down for half an hour to review revisions. By the end of the day, he hunted me down and offered to buy me a drink to thank me for my help. Every agent he had spoken to had expressed interest in more material. Maybe next time he'll rethink his approach with other authors. People, particularly people who prefer non-fiction or spy novels (male or female), tend to see "paranormal" and assume I write angsty teen romance. There's nothing wrong with angsty teen romance, and I've read (and enjoyed) my share. What's wrong is that books are not only judged by their cover, but also by the appearance of the person writing them. Despite a happy marriage, I'm not able to fulfill the "happily ever after" criteria of romance. Books with tragedy speak to me in ways that "happy" books can't. I've tried to write "light reads" with more humor, but something dark always sneaks back in. I write thrillers with suspense and disturbing content. My books have vampires who aren't really good or evil--they are intelligent beings motivated by their own priorities and objectives. My characters have relationships because that's what happens with social entities, but the relationships aren't the focus of the story. I want to give readers a mystery, a fast pace, and something to think about. I want to present a flawed protagonist who fights to keep going. My mom has expressed disappointment in my inability to write a romance, and I've been pushed to turn my series into what is expected when people see my picture with the world "paranormal." I used to joke that I would sell out and do whatever was demanded, but I've found I can't push myself to be something I'm not (a romantic). Instead, I've written something that's hard to describe and is in a niche that makes it difficult to market. But Del Toro did it with The Strain and Anne Rice managed to write her vampires without a physical romance (although their relationships are highly introspective and intense). Why can't I? It was suggested I reconsider my cover to emphasize romance. We didn't change it because it's not a romance. The irony of this frustration, is that I'm also guilty of the behavior I'm railing against. I assume a woman is more equipped to write a romance I would be interested in reading because I don't always trust men to write a convincing feminine perspective. It's not necessarily fair, but I am happy to say I've found male authors who have proven me wrong.
Do you think you have gender biases as a reader? Are you an author that has experienced gender biases? Do you think some genres are more skewed than others? by Camela Thompson My husband and I spent the last week in the Tenderloin district of San Francisco. To say we didn't know what we were getting ourselves into is a giant understatement. I'm still sorting through my thoughts and trying to put them into words, but suffice it to say that staying in a part of town named after a cut of meat is never a good idea. Research your location and read reviews. We both made it through the week physically unscathed, but I will never forget the screaming that lasted the night or cowering on the floor during gunshots. A room with a view. On to better things! Because traveling out of the neighborhood got riskier later in the day, I spent the afternoons and evenings writing and reading. Don't worry--I still ate a ton of great food and went sight seeing. I was just on a modified schedule. Below are some of the literary highlights.
Ready Player One The world created by Ernest Cline is easy to believe in. The country has fallen apart, the gap between the rich and the poor is even wider, and the future of the planet is bleak. It's only natural people would abandon reality for a virtual world. We're already headed in that direction... After a bit, I grew frustrated with the story. The heroes of the idolized creator of OASIS (the virtual world) were all white males. The 80s culture, movies, books, and video games were all catered to heterosexual white males. I couldn't understand why my friend loved the book so much until the two-thirds of the way in. Then I got it. Since finishing the book, I've recommended it to several gamer friends. Ready Player One has an interesting concept and is very well written. Hang in there until the end. I doubt you'll be disappointed. Frankenstein To get my thoughts on this classic, tune into Shadows on the Sound. Next week we'll be reviewing Frankenstein. If you've read the book, leave a comment or shoot me an email and we'll read it on the air. For now, I'll just say that it was easier to get through than Dracula. N0S4A2 Spoiler: If you've read my horror reviews, you know there is one thing that drives me up the wall. The minute a dog appears, I grow angry because I know the author is going to deploy an old and reliable trick to demonstrate just how horrible his antagonist is. I still loved this book, although when I read it again I'll be skipping some scenes. Joe Hill's writing style is a bit reminiscent of his father (Stephen King), but it's obvious he's gifted in his own right. I loved the protagonist, a foul mouthed, unstable woman by the name of Vic McQueen. Her failures and self awareness provided a strong female character I could root for. The bad guy was diabolical. But he wasn't exactly a vampire. There were a few nods to the world of Doctor Sleep, but the characters were Hill's own. Everyone was deliciously flawed and motivated. If you like suspense, strange worlds, and antagonists so bad they make your skin crawl, get this book. The Fall The second book in The Strain series had a better pace for me than the first. The first was almost tedious in its build to the discovery of the strigoi. The science slowed it down. Neither of these gripes held true in the second book. I couldn't put it down and enjoyed the tireless devotion to the cause Abraham Setrakian brought to the table. Fet is still my favorite in the written series, and Zack is much more tolerable in written form than on the screen. Of the books listed in this post, The Fall gets the weakest recommendation. The television series does a much better job representing women. The books make Nora look weak and useless, entirely ruled by her emotions and unable to make a significant contribution. The other women featured in the television series are entirely absent except for Zack's mother. This is a guy's guy book. Even though I appreciate the monsters that Hogan and Del Toro bring alive, I'm disappointed by the absence of characters I can relate to. It seems they didn't get the memo: Women read and enjoy horror, too. Have you read any of the above? If so, do you agree or disagree? by Camela Thompson Things have been bleak. It was a slow fall--one that I thought I correct on my own. Somehow, that slide steepened and I hit pretty close to the bottom without expecting my situation would dissolve to the point of talking myself out of bed in the morning and avoiding all non-essential contact with humans. Suddenly I was good at nothing, enjoyed little, and wanted to quit. Quit writing. Quit working. Quit seeing friends. Depression lies. It's cruel and convincing. All of the successes, positive traits, and wins go into hiding. A big blanket descends, smothering me with negativity. My confidence melts away and I no longer know why I do the things I love. Everything loses its purpose. The fatigue that came with it this time was stunning. The world was in slow motion. I'm lucky to have friends who are honest with me even when it's awkward or painful. I've heard people say that creative types feel more. I'm not sure if it's true--I know a lot of people who feel deeply--but sometimes it seems that way. Maybe those of us who "feel more" gravitate towards creative hobbies to help us heal. A good writer friend of mine brought up medication and he was honest with me about his own experience. His willingness to be open will always be something I remember and value. I already had an appointment with my doctor, but the conversation with my friend pushed me in the best possible way. The first words to my doctor were, "If we can't figure out a medical cause, I have to go on antidepressants." Depression and anxiety run in my family. I've been close to it my entire life. I've watched family members be hospitalized, improve with medication, and then resist medication only to bottom out again. Finding the right balance takes time. The odd thing is that it's so easy to see what's happening when you're standing next to it. When it's happening to you, it's a different story. My mood is closely tied to my health. If anything goes out of balance, the downward spiral begins. It's insidious in its gradual pace, and it's easy to lose control. One of my complaints at the clinic was my inability to improve at running. My doctor noticed a heart murmur after minor exertion and suddenly I was on quest to determine whether a heart problem was at the root of my fatigue. These things take time, and I spent the next couple weeks eating junk food and binge watching The White Queen. It was an odd choice, but it worked in my favor. Watching historical fiction based in a time that didn't have any medical advancements made me realize how lucky I am to be alive now and here, even more so when witnessing the paranoia driven murders of those surrounding the Tudors and Yorks. Annie is a most excellent assistant in all things - even watching bad TV Another friend joined me in my new past time and let me talk through my own paranoia considering my health. My mom spent a weekend over and we watched bad reality television. My husband kept the chocolate stocked. I feel lucky to have people in my life who understand that the greatest gift is time. And patience for the occasional rant. And chocolate.
We received great news at the heart clinic after a stress echocardiogram. My heart looked perfect. The blood work, on the other hand, highlighted one issue. The murmur was brought on by hypothyroidism. It also explained my decline in mood and extreme fatigue. Just three days into a medication adjustment, life looks brighter. Literally. I'm noticing more. The story ideas are finally happening, and I can walk a mile without gasping for air. I've found joy. I want to do more and it's easier to bounce back. Which is a really good thing because we're traveling, and it has been interesting. But that's another blog post. It's hard to confess when things aren't going well, but I think it's important to be honest. Depression lies. It minimizes friendships and hides reality. It distorts the truth and makes things dark and hopeless. I feel so lucky to have friends who weren't afraid to let me know they were concerned. I'm thankful I've learned to be suspicious of my darker thoughts and talk to a doctor. I wish I would act on that suspicion sooner, but I'm learning. Things get better. It's okay to need help. We all do. Most importantly, don't listen to the lies depression tells you. When things find balance again, the world is a wonderful place. There is too much to enjoy to wait to fix things. Life will get easier. If you or a friend needs help, call 1 (800) 273-8255 or visit http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ to chat. |
Camela ThompsonFreelance writer and Dark urban fantasy author featuring vampires with bite. My BooksCategories
All
Archives
July 2020
|